Are you happy?
It’s a big question isn’t it?
When we talk about happiness and what makes us happy, so many people will say the big things in life make us happy: money, love, beauty, health, having that perfect body, being the perfect size.
Here’s the things I’ve noticed a lot from my clients.
Having those things, or the desire to have them doesn’t actually make peoples happy.
“I will be happy if I am 2 stone lighter.”
“I will be happy if I win the lottery”
“I will be happier when I meet the person of my dreams”
“I will be happier when I have a baby”
Often in the search for happiness, in that drive to get the goal, whatever it is, we can forget to check if we’re still happy if we’ve reached and forget to maintain our happiness once we are there.
Sort of “I got what I wanted now there’s nothing else to work for”. So our brains revert back to our original starting point, like being on a treadmill. The brain needs stimulating, with small goals to keep it focused.
Sonia Lyumbormirsky, writer of the How of Happiness has carried out extensive research into Happiness and identified two aspects into what makes us happy:
Primarily the experience of positive emotions; happy people experience more frequent happy emotions such as joy, tranquillity, pride and affection. Not only that they have a sense that their life is good, and they’re satisfied with the progress they’re making towards their life goals.
They are happy both in and with their life
So essentially, happiness is the drive for all things, and is something we are all capable of acheiving, IF we go after the right things.
What may surprise you is that we are going about trying to acheive it in the wrong ways.
We often wait and hope that our circumstances will change, we will win the lottery, meet that person, get the new car, loose the 2 stone…that will bring us the happiness…none of that works, at least not in the way we think it will. It is a lie our minds tell us.
Often clients will say to me “I feel guilty because I have X, Y and Z and on paper, it looks like I have a perfect life, so why am I not happy?”
In simplistic terms, they have achieved their goal, their dreams, but amongst it all, forgotten to keep stimulating the brain, keep the Serotonin (Happy hormone going) and to keep the things they desired so much they are working hard and creating Cortisol (the stress Hormone).
Solution Focused Hypnotherapy encourages clients to refocus from the stress and anxiety creating negative thoughts to positive happy thoughts. Working on helping clients to find happiness again, getting them back to having more happy positive emotions and setting themselves small positive goals to reduce their stress. So that they are Happy both in and with their lives.
For more information about how I can help you to do this and get you back feeling like yourself pop me a message at firstname.lastname@example.org